Thursday, March 11, 2004
Well, I just wanted to make this a short blogg today. The probolem is I have so many things that I want to write about, but I just don't really have the patience or the time right now to do so. I've been sitting here at my cool little desk for a majority of the day (it's only lunch, but hey, it IS the majority) and I'd like to get off and move on to other things. Last night I realized I want change. I had an encouraging conversation with my "blond babe" last night on the phone ;) and I realized I have hurtles which I need to over-come, but will only be able to do so after I committ my life to God whole heartedly. That means, handing over my problems to God, having faith that He's going to bless me by laying out a path for me to walk, and having the faith to take the necessary steps on this path despite my complete blindness. I don't know what's around the corner, but I have so much more reassurance in the ability to take those steps because I have Tonya by my side for counseling and support. Obviously she is so much to me than just security, but it's easier to share those moments of uncertainty with another person since you know you can face those challenges together. I'm also glad I can be there for all of her challenges, with her physical situations (knee problems, exercise lifestyle) and her future educational persuits. We've always been like that, even when we weren't courting. When we were best friends we were each other's support, and we had genuine care and concern for one another's well being. That's one of the things I love about this friendship and romance of ours!
So, at church last night, the congregation shared which aspects about "The Passion of Christ" were most significat and meaningful to us after having experienced the movie. I didn't have the courage to speak and be heard by so many, but I'll share now in my blogger the one of the movie's moments which resounded within me with forever altering impact. When Christ was on the cross, the man that was being crucified to Jesus's right side was laughin in foolishness mocking Jesus for considering himself God of all things. He also mocked Jesus for forgiving the very soldiers and leaders which made his punishment happen. To the left of Christ there is a man which I was able to relate to. Here was a person which carried with him an abundance of sin - a lifetime of transgretions. The man was at the end of his life, and in his eyes, you can see the remorse overflowing. He pittied himself, and he was ashamed of his life of sin. He humbly asked God's forgiveness, though he knew he was not deserving of it. This remose was all too familiar with me, as I deal with repentance issues in my own life. I have a past I am disturbed by, and feel regretful of. All my life I have seeked God's face, longing to look Him in the eyes and have shelter from my human nature, something I will never be able to escape until I am in heaven. That moment of the movie was so powerful, because I saw myself on that cross, at the end of m life, coming face to face with God, meeting His judgment. Somehow Christ found the physical strength to lift his tired head after hearing this meager man's pleading for mercy - he turned towards him, and with eyes full of love and compassion, He forgave him and allowed him entrance into His heavenly kindgom. I realize those eyes of love were only those of an actor's infront of a film camera. But in my own heart, I believe when Christ did walk this planet of ours, had I been alive during that time of history, if I had the opportunity to meet Jesus personally, I know he'd look upon me with eyes of pure love - real love - a love that is unlike anything of this earth. I wonder how powerful such an encounter might really be like. But now, with the crucifiction complete, and His promise set about for all to hear, I know that I have even more peace of mind that my life has been saved by the blood he eventually spilled. As profound an encounter it would be, its the knowledge we have now which we must soak within our understanding so that we may fully appreciate our salvation.
Well, it is now almost 2 o'clock. I've been moving around the house during the writing process of this blog entry. I'd like to wrap it up now. I'm not sure what else to add. I think for documentary purposes, I'll just summarize everything that has happened, is happening, and will be happening in the following paragraph.
The past two weeks have gone towards moving my bedroom from upstairs to the middle floor as it once was a few years ago. As of this afternoon, I can say that everything is placed in their final positions. My old TV is now in Garrett's room. My telescope is propped up again after years of hibernation. My clothes are stuffed away rightfully and my boxed "stuff" is cramed under my bed, all of which was organized, sorted, and parced by me and Tonya. By the way, she was extremely helpful during the entire moving process, speeding it up a few levels for me! Speaking of organized, my new computer is completley pieced together, and it is now really, really sweet! It's also loaded with all of the "silent" goodies, making it nicely quiet! I've finally found the perfect software configuration, and the interface is sporting a final version of Mac OSX Jaguar (emulation), something I have been manipulating and fine-tuning for months now. My desk components are all connected and placed in a perfect layout. I even removed my relaxing leather chair and replaced it with my balance ball, something NOBODY has (nor would want). But MOST people are lazy and probably place comfort over something like strengthening back muscles (my spine will one day be greatful for these efforts!). Now, about this weekend; I will be riding along with the Van Dykes for the baptismal of Tonya's niece. I think we're going to play word games/card games on the ride down, so I'm looking forward to it. Tonight, Tonya will be stopping by right after my hair-cut is complete, and then we will start packing my stuff. After that, we will likely be working our legs at the gym, then, something that's needed for our romantic life, be dropping by 100 George's to take in the live music as our date.
Well, there's other big things looming over the horizon. Changes are on the way, I feel them happening soon. I'll write about them when they have happened so that you're up-to-date about God's blessings in my life. Bye for now, folks!
So, at church last night, the congregation shared which aspects about "The Passion of Christ" were most significat and meaningful to us after having experienced the movie. I didn't have the courage to speak and be heard by so many, but I'll share now in my blogger the one of the movie's moments which resounded within me with forever altering impact. When Christ was on the cross, the man that was being crucified to Jesus's right side was laughin in foolishness mocking Jesus for considering himself God of all things. He also mocked Jesus for forgiving the very soldiers and leaders which made his punishment happen. To the left of Christ there is a man which I was able to relate to. Here was a person which carried with him an abundance of sin - a lifetime of transgretions. The man was at the end of his life, and in his eyes, you can see the remorse overflowing. He pittied himself, and he was ashamed of his life of sin. He humbly asked God's forgiveness, though he knew he was not deserving of it. This remose was all too familiar with me, as I deal with repentance issues in my own life. I have a past I am disturbed by, and feel regretful of. All my life I have seeked God's face, longing to look Him in the eyes and have shelter from my human nature, something I will never be able to escape until I am in heaven. That moment of the movie was so powerful, because I saw myself on that cross, at the end of m life, coming face to face with God, meeting His judgment. Somehow Christ found the physical strength to lift his tired head after hearing this meager man's pleading for mercy - he turned towards him, and with eyes full of love and compassion, He forgave him and allowed him entrance into His heavenly kindgom. I realize those eyes of love were only those of an actor's infront of a film camera. But in my own heart, I believe when Christ did walk this planet of ours, had I been alive during that time of history, if I had the opportunity to meet Jesus personally, I know he'd look upon me with eyes of pure love - real love - a love that is unlike anything of this earth. I wonder how powerful such an encounter might really be like. But now, with the crucifiction complete, and His promise set about for all to hear, I know that I have even more peace of mind that my life has been saved by the blood he eventually spilled. As profound an encounter it would be, its the knowledge we have now which we must soak within our understanding so that we may fully appreciate our salvation.
Well, it is now almost 2 o'clock. I've been moving around the house during the writing process of this blog entry. I'd like to wrap it up now. I'm not sure what else to add. I think for documentary purposes, I'll just summarize everything that has happened, is happening, and will be happening in the following paragraph.
The past two weeks have gone towards moving my bedroom from upstairs to the middle floor as it once was a few years ago. As of this afternoon, I can say that everything is placed in their final positions. My old TV is now in Garrett's room. My telescope is propped up again after years of hibernation. My clothes are stuffed away rightfully and my boxed "stuff" is cramed under my bed, all of which was organized, sorted, and parced by me and Tonya. By the way, she was extremely helpful during the entire moving process, speeding it up a few levels for me! Speaking of organized, my new computer is completley pieced together, and it is now really, really sweet! It's also loaded with all of the "silent" goodies, making it nicely quiet! I've finally found the perfect software configuration, and the interface is sporting a final version of Mac OSX Jaguar (emulation), something I have been manipulating and fine-tuning for months now. My desk components are all connected and placed in a perfect layout. I even removed my relaxing leather chair and replaced it with my balance ball, something NOBODY has (nor would want). But MOST people are lazy and probably place comfort over something like strengthening back muscles (my spine will one day be greatful for these efforts!). Now, about this weekend; I will be riding along with the Van Dykes for the baptismal of Tonya's niece. I think we're going to play word games/card games on the ride down, so I'm looking forward to it. Tonight, Tonya will be stopping by right after my hair-cut is complete, and then we will start packing my stuff. After that, we will likely be working our legs at the gym, then, something that's needed for our romantic life, be dropping by 100 George's to take in the live music as our date.
Well, there's other big things looming over the horizon. Changes are on the way, I feel them happening soon. I'll write about them when they have happened so that you're up-to-date about God's blessings in my life. Bye for now, folks!
